Cabin Fever
by Lemon Wine
Summary: The Turks have finally gotten the vacation of a lifetime in...Glacier Hill? After a blizzard, they are all trapped in their cabin until helps comes, can they hold out or will they kill each other first? :: HUMOR TURK FIC::


Cabin Fever: Chapter 1

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"Turn that down!"

"What if I dun' wanna, yo?"

"Both of you, be quiet!"

". . ."

A small and sleek black car sped quickly down a highway, surrounded by a thick forest on either side as loud shouts and complaints drifted out through the rolled down passengers-side window.

I'll give you three guesses as to who the people in the car were…

"Reno! The music is way too loud! Turn it down, I'm not going to ask again!" Elena huffed out angrily, reaching forward from her position in the back seat to try and decrease the loud noise pummeling her ears. As soon as she was inches away from the radio dial, a pale hand slapped her lightly on the back of the palm, causing the woman to reel backwards in shock, blonde hair flying everywhere.

"Not the tunes, yo" Reno smirked, pulling his hand away from Elena's reach and bringing it back to rest on the dashboard, drumming his fingers out of synch with the music playing from the radio. A half-spent cigarette hung from his pale lips and he shook his head, swinging his fire-engine red hair out of his eyes to look up at the rear-view mirror and stick his tongue out at the woman, who was glaring at him in the reflection.

"You realize you are both behaving like small children, am I correct?" A cold voice snapped as a stern looking man sighed from his spot next to Elena, eyes shut in obvious frustration. Tseng growled as Reno snorted, apparently finding humor in what the Wutian had just said.

"Whatever dot-man" The red-head muttered, shrugging his narrow shoulders and leaning back on the head-rest. The head Turk chose to ignore his subordinates comment, instead turning to the last person in the car, and the only one who had kept completely and utterly silent so far. "Rude," Tseng asked coolly, "So you know how long it will be before we _finally_ get to our cabin?"

He received a grunt in response from the bald man

"What?"

"He says about fifteen minutes left man" Reno drawled over his shoulder, being the only one who could understand Rude half time. The red head then closed his eyes, squirming around to get in a more comfortable position. Apparently he was going to take a nap.

Rude, the ever quiet, simply flicked his eyes over Reno for a second before nodding in agreement and turning his eyes back to the road, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as they came to a bend in the street. He had absolutely no idea what had convinced him to come along on this little 'group vacation' as Rufus had called it, but it had started out bad and could only get worse.

First off, when they all piled into the rather small car that would be there mode of transport, Reno decided he would call shotgun and push both Elena and Tseng out of the way to be able to sit in the front. This put the blonde in a bad mood and caused Tseng to have to be cramped in the back with her, seeing as Rude always drove.

_Always. _

Then the red-head, who seemed to be the cause of all problems, began to fiddle with the radio, causing Elena to yell at him, and the two had been shouting back and forth to each other ever since.

That had been three hours ago.

Now it was dusk, and everyone was tired and ready to sleep. Not to mention the fact that is was getting colder and colder outside.

"Reno, shut your window, it's freezing in here" Tseng murmured, tugging his black coat closer to himself and glancing out the window, noting the dark rain clouds in the sky. There were a few moments of silence, with no movement on Reno's' part.

"Hey Reno, did you hear Tseng, he said to shut the window!" Elena added briskly, pulling on her previously discarded sweater and shivering slightly.

Silence.

"Reno! I said-" She began again, but was cut off, stopping the blonde from starting one of her usual rants. It was Rude…

"He's asleep" The big man said simply, causing the other two to freeze and pear over the top of the seat.

Sure enough, Reno was fast asleep, sprawled on the seat rather vulnerably, his head tilted back on the head rest, mouth slightly open as he muttered softly under his breath.

Tseng sighed, unbuckling his seat belt and then leaning forward again to pull the younger Turks arm, which was hanging limply out the window, inside the car and then proceeded to roll up the glass quickly, unable to keep form smiling slightly at the babyish expression on the red heads face as he sucked on the cigarette still placed between his lips. Elena simply sighed, crossing her legs and glancing out the window as everyone sat in silence for a long moment, Reno being the usual source of noise.

"It looks like it's going to rain…" She commented curiously, and thunder rumbled in the distance.

"No, in this weather it will most likely snow." Tseng added in sternly. "Rude, we are nearly there, are we not?" the Wutian added quickly, spotting a sign nearing in the distance.

"Yes" the bald man grunted his one word answer, the car swerving to the left onto a small wooded trail. With the sudden movement, Reno's' slumbering form was thrown off balance and his head now rested on Rudes' shoulder, a fiery mass of red hair now sitting under the larger mans chin.

Rude simply sighed, and the four of them drove in silence for the most part, until a small cabin came into view, some fire wood stacked in front of it. The small house was made of a dark, ancient looking bark that was sure to have holes in it somewhere, and the door barely hung on its hinges. There was a small, and that appeared to be made out of aluminum sheets, sort of garage next to the cabin, and from the gaping hole in the side, it appeared you could access it from within the wooden 'house'.

Elena wrinkled her nose in distaste, Tseng cocked an elegant eyebrow, Rude blinked, and Reno merely snored softly.

Some vacation this was going to be.

Rude parked the small car in front of the house for now, stowing the keys in his pocket and glancing at the two conscious people behind him. Tseng, seemingly knowing what he was going to ask, nodded. "I'll take your backpack, along with Reno's, you carry him inside" the Wutian said quickly, unbuckling his eat-belt and stepping out of the car and into the frosty air.

Elena followed her leader out of the car, stretching and allowing a small sigh to escape as she walked around to the trunk, opening it with the flick of a lever and reaching inside to grab her own backpack. Tseng came next, grabbing the last three bags and then shutting the trunk with a loud /thunk/.

Rude on the other hand had his own package to carry, mainly being Reno, who he grabbed around the waist and hauled to his feet, half-carrying, half dragging the red head towards the door where, quite expertly, with one hand, he reached into his pocket, grabbed the cabin keys President ShinRa had given him, unlocked the door, and opened it, all the while still maintaining a tight grip on Reno so that he wouldn't fall.

Walking into the cabin, the scent of mold immediately assaulted his senses as he unceremoniously dumped Reno onto the first couch he could find. The makeshift bed, a musty green color sagged under the lightweight red-heads body, showing that it was a _very _old piece of furniture.

Elena and Tseng entered inside as a particularly cold gust of wind blew past them, the blonde running in with a yelp and the Wutian entered in a more dignified form.

"I believe we should all get some sleep…" The Turk leader said quickly, walking around the cabin and trying his hardest to breathe in as little as possible.

To put it plainly, it smelled like shit.

"Elena, you can take the back room, Rude, there is one small room to the left down this hallway here, and I will take the last room…" Tseng called out as he walked around the establishment. He would get a better look at it tomorrow, but for now he just wanted to relax.

"What about Reno sir?" Elena quipped in perkily, glancing at the snoring redhead on the couch.

"Just leave him there for now, he will most likely be drunk the entire time we are here, so he has no use for a bed anyway" He answered with a slight smirk, shrugging.

Rude simply nodded and walked stiffly over to his room, shutting the door quietly.

Elena skipped happily over to her room, grabbing her bag along the way and leaving the door slightly open. It smelt nicer in the back of the house, and maybe she could find some way to filter out that awful scent.

Tseng on the other hand, stopped in the kitchen, glancing over it in disgust. Mold was every where, they would have to clean this up later… But for now, sleep was calling him. With one last glance at Reno, who had now managed to fall half off the couch in his sleep, the Wutian retired to his own room, shutting the door a locking it.

Everyone slept quite soundly for the rest of the night…

Until a loud, piercing scream woke them up.

Rude stormed out of his room, cracking his fists menacingly, Elena stumbled out, gun cocked at the ready, and Tseng thudded against the door, seemingly forgotten that he'd locked it before emerging, a small knife held in his hand. That only left…

"Reno! What is so wrong that you had to scream murder at," Elena paused to check her wrist clock, "Four in the morning!" The blonde finished, aiming the gun at him hysterically.

"It's-snowin'!" The redhead stuttered, eyes wide.

"Yes, what is the problem with that?" Tseng intervened more calmly then his blonde partner, but his eyes were livid.

"It's snowin', and I woke up, and then I wanted ta' go outside ta' get the booze I kept in my bag, and tha' door won't budge open!" The Turk said nervously.

"Wait, you mean we're…" Elena began, blue eyes wide.

"Trapped" Rude finished for her, frowning slightly.

Reno swore he heard a nerve pop in Tsengs' head.

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Please R-E-V-I-E-W! XD


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